I don’t know how to be a good father. 

We need to have an adult conversation with my 28 year old daughter. Who, I feel, I hardly know

She has always done her own thing. I have described her to folk as being “defiant.” Which are amazing qualities for a criminal defence lawyer (btw) But as she says’ “I Hate Law” after hearing me and her mother moan about our struggles and stresses with the job.

2 years on the run in Australia, 4 years in Brighton (which I hoped she would love) a gap year in Vancouver Canada. A year settling in her room doing track and trace (thanks Covid) 2 years on an MA in Creative Health – whatever that is – and £25k later, here we are, putting up tents for festivals , with the prospect of teaching English in Valencia.

Now. That does all seem like fun reading it back. But, she is dependant on us (wife plus me)  hiding her in her room from life’s grim realities;  rent, food, bills and paying off her debt. 

I have no idea what’s in her head, or how she feels or thinks about the world. Or if she can see a place for herself in it.

I worry for her, her pain is my pain.

Having just done a 24 hour police station duty shift, your perspective does shift. It’s the cutting edge of life and I feel alive with the struggles and behaviours of those who really can’t cope. That’s just the police officers. 

 PC Monty Marshall age 19. Plus PC Poitrek Kaczmarek somewhat older.  Monty dealt with a threats to kill case with real elegance and good manners. Taking time to consider the needs of the interpreter and the client – a muslim mother. Monty joined the force at 18 and is now a fully qualified officer. A lovely lad. 

Poitrek up to 6 months ago was driving buses at Manchester Airport. Now a PC covering the tricky streets of Wythenshawe. Our joint client refused to come out of his cell and engage with the process. We had a cup of tea and a laugh.

Where were we? Being a Dad. Well, all you can do is keep going. Pay the bills, keep the roof from falling in. If everything goes wrong – be there to take the blame, someones got to.

Try to be kind. Agree, keep your mouth shut.  Find a job to do. Walk the dog. Listen to some music. 

Try to find some purpose and look for what you like. 

I’ve got to put these references to Paul Darnborough Legal in to make the website sticky, or so I’m told.

I’d like to help people sort out their and their families lives, it’s so much easier that working on your own. 

#parent #police station #legal advice #hard work